Well just this past week all of us Seminarians have officially begun a new semester of classes. I continue to enjoy the Louisville area and have met many new people since August, when I first moved here. God has done so much since my move to Kentucky! Everything from job opportunities opening up, meeting new friends, understanding the power of the gospel in a much brighter scope, rounding out more academically, and more opportunities for ministry involvement! Last semester I was working at Target and UPS. Both jobs were very rigorous and tiring! I prayed and asked the Lord to supply me with other jobs so that I could have more time to focus on my studies and opportunities for ministry work. He Answered!
I would also like to state how difficult the trials were for me last semester. Even though I had these two jobs, they were still very financially unsubstantial for me because of all the bills I had to pay. Honestly, I was as far back against the wall than I would have liked to be. I found an overwhelming sense of doubt and confusion to why all this was happening. Was I supposed to move to Kentucky for Seminary? Was I impatient on when I moved? Should I have waited a little longer before I made my way to louisville in pursuit of a higher sense of education for ministry and knowledge of the Bible? So many questions hit me left and right, I felt like I was running out of breath from all of the things I was battling with. I found myself completely depleted and unable to do anything else to encounter the situation with a resolution. I knew that the only thing that was left for me was, "Completely and totally trust in Christ for everything that I so desperately needed to be sustained!" I truly believe that this move to Seminary has been the epitome of what "True Faith" in Christ is all about! It's not that I haven't experienced what faith was in my life recent to my move to Louisville. It's just that I have never experienced such an incredible storm that would stretch my faith, personally and intimately to where I would find a full view of, "Eric Engle has absolutely nothing left to give in order for the situation to be sustained!." You see its not that I have never come to knowledge that I am completely helpless without Christ! It's just that I have never dealt with this revelation so excruciatingly, and yet so joyfully!
In full view of where I am now, I pray that such a blessing would be bestowed to as many other believers as possible. Now why in the world would I want that kind of thing to take place in other's lives? Well its simply this! We can find ourselves so consumed with how we can handle situations that we find ourselves doing everything within our power to make it work out right, all the while Christ is right at our side saying, "It doesn't have to be this way!" An illustration that comes right off to mind is: A father teaching his child to ride a bike. The child wants so desperately to make his father proud of him as he masters the art of riding his bike. The child falls off time and time again, while his father encourages him that his help isn't a thing that makes him weaker but stronger! The help is there to guide him, not put the child to shame.
You know, I believe we find ourselves in situations where we feel like we must prove ourselves to God by accomplishing things on our own strength, as if we need to find ways to make Him love us more. Now I am not talking about bringing honor to God by striving to "Be holy, as He is holy" but situations where we are filled with this internal instinct to strive for worth! When I sit down to read the Bible, I know that it tells me that there is no way to the Father except through Jesus Christ! When we find ourselves to strive for OUR accomplishments the questions basically comes down to, "Will God be glorified?" Hmmm.... Is this the essence of the gospel, that we would accomplish goals and etc. Or.... is it that we would accomplish the good work that God revealed through Christ by the way of the Holy Spirit?
These are two, entirely different ways to live life. When I was younger and growing up through school, I had a bit of a learning impairment. I would absorb certain things teachers would give me and then apply them backwards. I felt like I had to strive to make it through school. I did everything I could to accomplish a good education despite my disability. Now mind you, many other people have had disabilities that were way worse than what I encountered but I mention this because for a good portion of my life, I felt like I needed to prove to others that I could accomplish things no matter the obstacle. Now that doesn't seem like a bad thing to strive for when you first think about it but when we look at scripture, God didn't use people with disabilities or defects in order to help them see that they could accomplish things in order for their accomplishments to be mantled up on the wall so that all could see! He did it so that people could glorify and praise His name for all He IS in and through His people! We were not created in order that we would gain anything IN life! It's just the opposite. In fact Christ explained why we were created in just the opposite! He told the disciples, "If you want to gain your life, then you gotta lose it!" When we find ourselves confident in how our life is viewed through the scope that Paul did, then we find exactly what God has called us to. Paul stated, "I count all things (that I could possess from this world) as loss, and Jesus Christ as gain!" Of course I am paraphrasing with what is in the brackets but I think you can get the point.
If we delight ourselves in the Lord, then He will give us the desires of our hearts! But..... we must understand what that word DESIRE means! It's not a delight in things, money, cars, gadgets, people or even good moral acts! The delight is established in the LORD! We surrender our instinctive nature for stuff and place our hope and delight in Him! I plan on diving deeper into this idea of delighting in the Lord more and more as this semester continues! We must come to realize that any desire outside of Christ is evil! We were created to delight and be joyful in Him! Now this is a topic that I would have to blog about in another time but I encourage everyone that reads this to really think about what the gospel truly is and what role we have in how we present it to others!
Seeing Him more clearly,
Twiga
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